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When you've been thrown out of an airlock into the cold vacuum of space, forced to
comprehend the vastness of the universe in the Total Perspective Vortex, eaten by the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal,
stuck on prehistoric Earth for ten years, stopped in for the end of the universe and breakfast at Milliways, been attacked
by a fleet of Frogstar fighters, sampled the delights of a Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blaster, had your planet blown up to make way
for a hyperspace bypass or, in general, you've lost your towel, DON'T PANIC! Reach for your handy, new, expanded and revised,
Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
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A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value.
You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant
marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine
so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand
combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mind-bogglingly
stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a brush, but very very ravenous); you can wave
your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker
has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of
biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag
will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have "lost".
What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle
against terrible odds, win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.
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